I think in cars; we find one fairly easy way to discover and quantify our Narcissists.
I mean, simply by SEEING HOW YOUR PARTNER DRIVES, you can know well-in-advance if you’re in love with a Narcissist.
Briefly, I have refined my views on Narcissism thusly:
Question: What is Narcissism?
Answer: It’s a heightened sense for SELF.
Question: We’re all selfish, so what’s different about Narcissism?
Answer: It’s all about: Appearances, Being Served, Being Liked.
Question: Does Narcissism obviate the possession of EMPATHY?
Answer: No, in fact most Narcissists have empathy. Only the “Malignant Narcissists” lack empathy because their ‘comorbidity’ is SOCIOPATHIC. Malignant Narcissists truly have no conscience and therefore: No soul.
You could describe most “healthy” Narcissists as the nicest selfish person you’d ever wanna meet. Even: “The most generous selfish person ever.”
“Healthy Narcissists” are self-centered to a fault, with the CAPACITY for empathy for others whether they happen to be showing it at the moment or not.
Generous selfish people? Well, in a way, that’s like lawyers who are, mostly, the dumbest smart people on the globe.
On The Other Hand:
Unhealthy or Malignant Narcissists are ONLY concerned about themselves. Practically indistinguishable from and may be allied with:
Extremely self-centered and egoist without concern / empathy for anyone else unless faking that trait serves them.
So the difference between Narcissists is:
Selfishness WITH Empathy
= Or =
Selfishness WITHOUT Empathy.
I said all that to say this:
It’d be nice to identify your Narcissist BEFORE you commit a lifetime to them by way of marriage or similar ridiculous machination. And perhaps by their very DRIVING, we can winnow out whether a person is a Narcissist with or without empathy. Let’s try:
In cars, Narcissists feel like superior drivers, in their own minds and they are ALWAYS very outspoken about how “these other IDIOTS” are driving.
They pass slow drivers furiously. They honk a lot. They don’t care that their high beams are on at night all the time. They tailgate. They try to pass on double lines ….and really, practically do whatever they want in traffic. “Coming through you idiots, watch out for The Only Important One.” is the secret sauce for the Narcissist.
In particular, the lack of consideration of certain Narcissistic drivers is a dead-“giveaway” of how “bad” their Narcissism is.
So. Your loved one could be a Narcissist with Empathy, and consider themselves vastly superior drivers and demonstrating impatience with everyone else who is an idiot.
Or your loved one could be a Malignant Narcissist and feel ALL OF THE ABOVE – with the additional lack of concern for others and a lack of empathy which allows:
1. Ridiculous “gunning the engine” in traffic
2. Honking at others just driving normally but in the way of your driver’s anxious, furious rush.
3. High beams on in rearviews and oncoming traffic.
4. Passing on the double yellow.
6. Pounding the steering wheel and shouting.
7. Praising their own abilities.